By the time Kumar reached office, he was late by 30 minutes and Ezaz was waiting for him. Kumar leads HRD of the organization while Ezaz heads Finance. “One more of my team members has resigned this morning. How am I going to handle the audit now? You could not even fill the vacancy created by the exit of David four months ago.” Angrily asked Ezaz as he entered Kumar’s cabin which is just next to his.
“That’s for you to figure out. That’s precisely what you are being paid for” retorted Kumar, still trying to switch his laptop on. This response really got into the nerves of Ezaz and he yelled “this arrogance of HR department is exactly the root cause of most of the problems here…I am not going to tolerate this anymore” This ensued into a bitter argument between Ezaz and Kumar, including blaming each other’s subordinates and it was audible to their team members sitting outside the cabins.
While they reconciled later and took damage control measures, this incident disturbed the harmony between the two teams. Little did Ezaz know that Kumar had narrowly missed an accident while driving to office. Kumar’s nerves have not yet settled by the time he reached office. Kumar being in fury, in spite of knowing fully well regarding an upcoming audit, could not understand Ezaz’s worries and anger. Handling the audit with one team member completely gone and another half-gone was an uphill task.
Had at least one of them shown awareness of the rising impulses and handled the discussion without anger or had a scheduled and well-prepared discussion at a later time, this could have been avoided. In some similar cases though, the spats are not verbal but transform into silent battles of ego and are not mended for great lengths of time. Quite often, they lead to ‘office politics’. If colleagues can be empathetic to one another, work places would be much better and consequentially more successful. This is just one example depicting the need for a higher state of emotional intelligence at workplace. Emotional intelligence, as the name suggests, is about being intelligent with Emotions. What is intelligence and what is emotion?
- Emotions precede thoughts. Our emotional reactions occur first in response to an event, much faster than our thoughts. It almost is like lightning that precedes thunder. In many cases we first develop feeling of like/ dislike towards things or individuals and then think to justify.
- Thoughts seek to reason whereas Emotions stem from instincts or a blend of instincts and are seldom logical.
- Emotions in raw state are far more overpowering and can push us into action even before we consciously understand the event and draw a reasoned conclusion.
- Emotions have physiological repercussions whereas thoughts necessarily need not lead to physiological responses.
The five building blocks of emotional intelligence are:
Self-Awareness is knowing what’s happening within oneself. It is about the ability to recognize the feelings within self as they originate and put a name to the feeling. Words are powerful in shaping our thoughts and feelings. Putting a name helps us develop right feeling/thought about the feeling. Self-awareness is the very first step in the path of self-development.
Self-Regulation is the ability to handle feelings so that they are appropriate and not becoming a slave of feelings. It is about the ability to not live in denial.
Internal Motivation is the ability to cultivate the right mindset and emotional state in the journey towards a goal. Being overwhelmed by initial success or getting bogged down by hurdles can derail the journey itself.
Empathy is the ability to identify with or understand the perspectives and motivations of others and to comprehend their emotional state. Individuals, who are good at empathy quickly spot opportunities to make others feel good, understand their motivation hotspots and can use them effectively.
Social Skills/Relationship Management: Skill in managing emotions in others. Not manipulation. These are social stars. They are generally good communicators, interactive and are good at building and managing relationships.
Emotions @ work
HRM @ Emotional Intelligence – Cultivating EI
- Awareness sessions on EI. EI has only gained partial awareness among general public. The very awareness of EI and consciousness of the concept would lead to a certain degree of improvement. It would help if awareness sessions are conducted as a series of interventions rather than as onetime event.
- Building self-awareness – Various tools are available online and with EI experts to measure the EI in each individual. Providing access to such tools is an effective way of building self-awareness. Among other options available are 360 degree feedback exercises regarding EI.
- Visual Displays and Literature can help EI constantly exist in the realm of consciousness of associates and thereby result in improvement. Individual journals may be provided where employees can write their observations regarding their own EI during each day. This helps individuals study themselves, draw patterns in their own behavior, make corrective action plan and implement.
- Recognition to employees who are role models of EI can also be an effective approach. Idolize them so that others emulate them.